Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in eegirl's LiveJournal:

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Sunday, June 29th, 2008
9:55 pm	So far this year has definitely been one of the most difficult of my life. Let's start at the beginning... After a wonderful Christmas holiday we come home and things get back to normal. Toward the end of the month Aaron's Aunt has a seizure. We come to find out that she has 3 brain tumors. She had to have two surgeries and is now undergoing chemo and radiation. She went from being a very vibrant person to an extremely depressed person. Since the surgeries she has not been able to regain use of her left hand or leg. She is wheel chair bound and completely reliant on her husband for everything. It is so hard to see someone change from a very happy person to someone who does not seem to be enjoying life anymore. It's also really hard to see the effect is has on everyone in the family. This weekend we went to Tampa to visit Aaron's family and his Grandmother just started crying while she was doing the dishes. It is so hard to see her daughter going through this and not be able to do anything for her. I try to cheer everyone up while I am there but it is difficult to stay happy in the face of something so sad. We are also dealing with the death of a friend. On April 22nd one of Aaron's best friend's and one of our grooms men from our wedding passed away. He was only 24 years old. It has been extremely difficult to deal with. I mean to see someone so young die is just awful. He died of food poisoning. His career was just taking off and he was doing so well. I was only able to meet him 3 times but he had such an impact on my life. To this day I am still sad and I still think about him everyday and know he is watching over us and protecting us. It was so hard to deal with my sadness and to try to help Aaron through his. I try to be the strong person, the person for people to lean. I express my emotions too, believe me I have cried many nights, but I wish I could do more for people. I just need to keep doing the best I can do and hope that Aaron's aunt is able to pull through. I don't think that Aaron could handle another death soon and it would be such a loss to the family and to the world if she were to pass away. This year has just been really hard and it really needs to calm down. Why all this bad stuff is happening is beyond me. I get sad now when I look at our wedding pictures because I know that Deepak is no longer with us. I know that we won't be able to go out for a beer with him again or have him call at random times to wake us up. I really miss his light heartedness and his carefree nature. It is still hard to believe that he is gone. I miss the old Aunt Vita too. She used to love life and now she is just sad. I just want her to be better so that she can smile again. I want her to get better so that grandma won't cry anymore. I know life will never be perfect and i know that it will have it's ups and downs but it is getting really hard. Current Mood: contemplative (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 5th, 2008
7:44 pm	Contemplative So about a month ago we found out that Aaron's aunt, now my aunt, had a brain tumor and would require surgery. After the surgery it was determined that it was a malignant brain tumor and she would have to start chemo and radiation. Not only that but because of the surgery she lost a lot of her ability to use her left leg and arm and had to use a wheel chair or walker to get around. She started radiation last week but had to stop because her wound from her surgery opened back up. The doctors did an MRI and determined that she would need another surgery. So my aunt will be having brain surgery again tomorrow. The difference is this time it could leave her paralyzed. It really makes you wonder, she ate well, exercised 3 times a week, was one of the most active vibrant person I knew and now she is trying to keep her hopes up and can barely walk. To watch someone go to completely healthy to this in the span of a month and half is devastating. I want to help, but I feel like everything I do isn't enough. It feels like high school all over again. I knew two people in high school that died of cancer and I had no clue how to deal with it. I had insomnia, depression and anxiety. I am handling it better this time but I think my biggest issue is I get so upset by the fact that I can't do anything to help. My job is to figure out why things don't work and then fix them...I can't do that here. Anyway I just had to get some of that out. Please everyone keep my Aunt in your thoughts and prayers. Current Mood: contemplative (Comment on this)
Monday, April 2nd, 2007
8:50 pm	Things are still going well. Even though it's seven months away the I am already beginning to get stressed about the wedding planning but I will survive. I finally got a puppy!! His name is Milo and he is a Jack Russell Terrier and Rat Terrier mix. He is the cutest thing ever and makes me really happy. I wore him out today though by taking him on a run so right now he is passed out on my couch. Aaron and I are still doing great, it is a little harder being so far away from each other but we see each other a lot and understand that we are both doing what we love. Once he gets out of school we will have enough money saved up to get a house and then we will get to live together again. We might end up having to move out to California which would definately be a great adventure. Work is still going well. I am catching on quick and making really good progress. In fact I already got my first raise. I am starting to run again but Milo can't run quite as far as I can so we are working on getting him up to speed. That's about it, nothing really new or exciting. I am just really happy with where I am in my life right now and feel like I am finally figuring out where I belong. It's nice to feel like all your education is paying off and to see what you were working towards all this time. Well the game is going to start soon so I have to go get ready to watch the Gators beat Ohio State. Go GATORS!!!! (Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 23rd, 2007
9:02 pm	Life My life is finally coming together. I am engaged to the most amazing man in the world, I have a great job that pays well, and I just bought furniture so soon I will own a nice couch, bedroom set, and dining room table. This is the happiest I think I have ever been. My brother just recently got engaged too which is super exciting and sister is graduating high school soon. I am so excited to see what my sister will do. I am starting to work out in the mornings now. Work is great. I am working for Harris Corporation as a Test Engineer. Harris has a 9/80 work week which means that I get every other Friday off. It's really nice because I get to see Aaron at least every other weekend. He is doing well in school and is going to attempt to get an internship with Harris this summer which would be super exciting. I am just so happy that I won't have to worry about money anymore and that I will be getting married in late October. I will have real furniture, and I am living in a pretty good apartment. So much excitment. I know I am not organizing this well but I just wanted to share what I'm up to these days. I hope everyone out there that reads this is doing well too. I hope all my friends are taking care of themselves and figuring out what makes them happy. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 29th, 2006
7:37 am	I'm engaged to the most amazingest man on earth!!!!!!!!!!!! :-) (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, November 12th, 2006
9:13 pm	Harris I got the job with Harris!!!!!!!!! :-) (Comment on this)
Saturday, October 28th, 2006
11:11 pm	Things are looking up. I got a second round interview for Harris. Now I just have to convince them to hire me and things will be perfect. Aaron is in Cyprus for the next week which kinda sucks but at least I will ahve lots of time to work on my senior design project. I really need to get moving on it. Sometimes it's hard though because I don't like programming but I need to know it and I am making good progress so yeah..... If i get this job with Harris I get to go back to Melbourne which will be nice because I enjoyed my internship this summer. Also Harris is on a 9/80 schedule so I will get every other Friday off. That way I can see Aaron everyother weekend and it won't feel so rushed. I would also be working a similar job to the one I was offered in Iowa with rockwell but this would be in florida and allow me to stay close to aaron which is what I want. I should go to bed now since I have so much to do tomorrow. It sucks that I have to do laundry and senior design on my birthday but that's just life. HOpefully when Aaron gets back I can actually celebrate my birthday although that is very doubtful. Anyway off to bed with me. Goodnight (Comment on this)
Sunday, October 8th, 2006
3:25 pm	I just want this semester to end and for someone to give me a job. I want a bigger apartment so I feel like cleaning is worth something. I want to be done with senior design. I want to have our own engineering graduation and not have to walk with the people who spent 3 years partying as opposed to my 5 studying. I want money to never be in an issue. I want to be a better programmer without having to read a shit ton of sample code and data sheets. I want to have bigger hands so I can play the guitar................ (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 5th, 2006
7:04 pm	So time for a real entry. I have been interning with Rockwell Collins this summer and have been learning a lot. Not only about electrical engineering stuff but how business works and also how to better interact with people. I have been working on a project with a partner and have been gaining better working in group skills. Our project is pretty difficult but we are making good progress and I hope we will be done by our deadline. In recent news I bought two parakeets. Their names are Busa and Gsxr and are the cutest birds in the world. They haven't quite gotten comfortable yet but they are adorable. They are babies and I am hoping to train them to love me. One is yellow and one is blue and they are my babies. Now saving the best for last is my Aaron update. Aaron and I are doing amazing!!!! He got to visit here for a week and it was the best week ever. I get to go up to DC for a weekend and visit him so that should be cool too. I am really excited because we are going to the zoo together. Just that week strengthened our relationship so much. It has been hard being away from him for so long but in August we move in together so I am super excited. I know it will be amazing to be able to spend everyday with each other. I can't wait!!!! I hope everyone is doing well and hopefully my next update won't take so long to happen. (Comment on this)
Monday, July 3rd, 2006
9:47 pm	I was going to write a long entry about what's been going on but then I got too tired..... Maybe tomorrow. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 6th, 2006
1:24 pm	Anyone know how to get in touch with Edson? I'm in Melbourne for the summer and figured I would try. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, June 5th, 2006
4:18 pm	Billy Lane So I went on my normal run this morning and was running back towards my apartment when I heard a car door close in the parking lot next to me. I turned my head and there was Billy Lane, the amazing motorcycle builder, looking at me. I just kept running but have decided if I see him again I will stop and say hi and tell him how amazing his bikes are. The End. (Comment on this)
Saturday, June 3rd, 2006
10:24 am	Well my second week on the job and I've done nothing but search the internet. It's okay though because once we finish this reasearch we will be able to get started on the actual project. I have been running or working out 6 days a week which has definately helped my energy levels and my happiness levels. I ran in a 5k last weekend and beat my last time by 2 minutes. I ran it in 32 minutes so I am hoping next time to do it in at most 30 minutes. I think with all the running I am doing here that might actually be possible. Besides that nothing really new or exciting. Aaron's internship is going really well and I miss him a lot. He and I are going to have to go to Gainesville while he's here to sign a lease for a place together. We're not sure where yet but I'm sure we will find a good place. I am very excited about next semeseter and graduating. I hope the people here will really like me and want to hire me after I graduate. I am hoping to get a job in either Melbourne, Tampa or Orlando. I guess that's about it for now. (Comment on this)
Sunday, May 28th, 2006
9:56 pm	I am in Melbourne now for my internship. I've been here about a week and it's been alright. Nothing really exciting, unfortunately our mentor was not at work for the first few days so it was a fairly boring first week but I don't mind getting paid 15 dollars an hour to be bored. Aaron made it to DC alright and he is moved into his new place. Everything is going really well up there for him too. My partner at work lost his keys on the beach and was locked out of his car. It was a big ordeal but toyota cut him a new key and he finally got his car back. My new place is beautiful and I have a view of the water and it's so nice. I actually live right down the street from Billy Lane's bike shop which is awesome! I guess that's about it for now. Current Mood: content (Comment on this)
Saturday, April 29th, 2006
12:57 am	Drugs Lets talk about drugs. They're dumb, they do nothing but ruin peoples lives. People do drugs for the high the high that will eventually kill them. Everyone can say that pot is not harmful and pot is not addicting but I beg to differ. I think that the high is addicting, and once you do it you crave the high again just as you crave the feeling of being drunk again after being drunk once. Does this validate getting high? NO. Pot is still illegal, whether or not you think it should be legal it's not so stop. Someone close to me started smoking pot, now she's tried other things. My biggest fear is she will get too far in and we will lose her to addiction. Everyone says that won't happen to my friends or family but you can control others actions. YOu can't stop people from doing certain things that you don't want them to because they don't see the problem with what they are doing. The problem with what they are doing is the fact that they are hurting themselves. They could be arrested, killed, raped, anything could happen. This scares the shit out of me and totally makes me just want to go protect them. I don't know if it's a cry for help or just a dumb mistake. I don't nkow how to control it and I can't get away from it and i don't know what to do......and if you know me you know that drives me crazy. Current Mood: upset (Comment on this)
Friday, April 21st, 2006
6:26 pm	Leave a comment and post anything that you want ABOUT ME, and post it anonymously. Anything. A story. A secret. A confession. A fear. A love-- anything. Be sure to post anonymously and honestly. Post twice if you'd like. Then, put this in your livejournal to see what your friends (and perhaps others who you don't even realize read your LJ) have to say. Yeah I'm bored. :-) Current Mood: Procrastinating (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, April 20th, 2006
10:49 am	I'm updating. I yelled at Jess for not updating and then she yelled back. Nothing really new or exciting. I am so in love with my boyfriend right now. In a few weeks he will be in DC and I will be in Melbourne Florida. So I gave him a pretty chain and he gave me a beautiful bracelet to go with my new business causual look I will have to adopt for my internship. Besides that finals are coming up and of course that sucks but it just means that I only have one semeseter left until I am done. I can't wait until I graduate. I guess that's about it for now. Love you Jess!!!! and everyone else, but especially Jess. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, March 26th, 2006
8:10 pm	It's official, I hate this semester. Fields and Power are driving me out of my mind. I have so much trouble bringing myself to do work for either class. Fields because he can't teach and power the same reason. I don' tknow. I mean I don't love controls but I love the class because latchman is the professor. If only latchman, nishida, arnold, and shrivastva could teach every class then i would be a happy person. On top of shitty classes Aaron is still out of town and will be until thursday. Most of the time it's alright, but everynow and then i get this pang of sadness because i miss him. I guess I better get used to it because it's going to happen a lot this summer. He's going to be in DC and i'm going to be who the hell knows where. It should be interesting to see what happens. AllI know is that I beleive that our love is strong enough that we can get through it. If people in the military do it all the time then I can deal with it for a few months. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, March 23rd, 2006
6:21 pm	So I just dropped Aaron off for his week trip to DC. I don't know if it's really hit me yet that I'll be in gainesville for a week without him. I mean we've been seperated before like when we go home for holidays but i've never been in gainesville without him. This is going to suck. I ahve to stay in my apartment for a whole week, no aaron's apt to escape to. Hopefully I don't kill anyone. Anyway, I should get to work on my fields homwork. P.S. I had an interview with Rockwell Collins on Tuesday and now I have a follow up either tomorrow or next week, which is exciting because it means they could possibly be interested in me. I would absolutely love to have an internship this summer instead of a research position. I thought I had messed up the interview too, but i guess I did alright. :-) Current Music: mudvayne (Comment on this)
Friday, March 10th, 2006
12:35 am	So today has been a bad day. I have gotten two really bad grades on tests and have no clue what's wrong. I study like I always have and it's not working. I think since I am taking more EE classes this semester then ever before I am just overwhelmed. It's looking like i'm going to have to not work for the rest of the semester just to keep my grades decnt and up. If i don't work that's more time to study and more time to sleep. I might even add in exercise again just because it would keep me happier, healthier, and I hear it helps you destress which would be a good thing considering my stress level at the moment. At this point I just want to get through but i want to get decent grades too. I just need to work harder, lol, this semester is going to kill me. Current Mood: pessimistic Current Music: Law and Order CI (Comment on this)